Levi's Birth Story

 I've been contemplating if I want to share Levi's birth story publicly. It's amazing that something so natural can end up being a traumatic experience but the most beautiful all at the same time. 

I've decided to share. Not to compare my story to others to determine who had it better or who had it worse, but because reading birth stories helped me before experiencing my own. Reading and hearing different birth experiences helped reduce any anxieties or fears I had about labor and delivery. Sharing our stories celebrate the strength of women and the beauty of childbirth. More than that, I am sharing a story of God's faithfulness.

Before Levi was born, someone told me that all childbirth is a miracle, no matter how it happens. And indeed it is.

I had been planning for and looking forward to a natural un-medicated childbirth. There was something empowering to me about experiencing childbirth the was women all over the world and throughout time of done it. Another reason I chose to pursue an un-medicated labor and delivery experience because I believed it was best for my body (because as women we're created to give birth, right?) I had read Ina May's Guide to Natural Childbirth  and enjoyed reading all the stories of natural childbirth. I'd recommend this book even to mama's not considering un-medicated. 

I was determined I was going into labor naturally. For the final few weeks of my pregnancy I walked, walked, walked. My OB even stripped my membranes twice the week of my due date. I was convinced he'd show up by our due date, July 4th. In case he didn't, my OB scheduled an induction for a week after our due date, but I was sure he'd come before then. We tried everything short of getting on a horse to induce labor naturally. July 11th rolled arfound and no baby, so off for an induction we went.

 The morning of the 11th we arrived at the hospital at 8am, masks in hand, cause you know, Covid. I was thinking having a baby born on the 11th would be cool since my birthday is an 11th and so is my brothers. Within 30 minutes of arriving at the hospital they started me on 2 pitocin. I was about 2cm dilated and they inserted the foley bulb to help increase dilation. 

We were asked to wear our masks whenever someone else was in the room (you know, to prevent the spread of covid).

Around 11:30 they removed the foley bulb and broke my water. 4cm.

Contractions had been very manageable up to that point but after they broke my water, my contractions got very severe. 

Since my contractions were more severe, I moved to the birthing ball for a while. 

I was checked again.

4cm.

According to my L+D nurses (all who were AMAZING), the goal is to get contractions to have consistent intervals between them. The intensity is not the goal, the consistent intervals are. My contractions, however, were clustering. I'd have 2-3 severe contractions back to back and go 10 minutes without one. During the clusters was the worst of it. 

I had tried to comply with the hospital's request for us to wear our masks when they were in the room. Laboring with a mask in is not the easiest, so I tore it off with a fit of curse words (woops) and they never said a thing. 

They kept bumping up my pitocin to try to get the contractions consistent, which only made them more severe.

I chose to labor standing for a while, leaning on Luke. Though the pain was severe it was the most manageable position to labor in. While standing, the nurse anesthestis came in to educate us on an epidural (in case I opted for one later). It was a welcome distration.

Checked. 4cm.

Back on the ball. 

I had been gifted index cards with Scripture verses for labor from a lady at one of my baby showers. Luke read those to me and held my hand through contractions. 

John 16:21 was THE verse for me. "For a woman in labor forgets her pain once the joy of her child is born." It gave me such strength and hope. It gave the pain purpose. Scripture became tangible to me. It was truly a sacred experience holding Luke's hand, having Scripture read over me, gaining strength from the Word of God for each contraction.

Around 4pm my pitocin was at 24.

My L+D nurse came in to check the monitor, because we though Levi moved off of it. Soon, there were 3 other nurses and my OB in the room looking for his heart rate, moving me to the bed, getting me on my hands and knees. Turns out Levi's heart rate had dropped to around 50. I didn't know this until later because the nurses were so good at keeping me calm. One of the nurses was talking about her son named Levi, which kept me distracted. I was also having such severe contractions that I wasn't able to focus on much else. 

It wasn't until after that I realized what had happened and remember hearing them talking about his heart rate coming back up. Luke told me days later that they were also prepared with medicine to put a stop to my labor in case Levi's heart rate didn't come up. Thankfully it did. 

Luke had been so attentive to me that I didn't realize how scary that all must have been for him.

They then had me sit upright in bed and gave me a 15 minute break from the pitocin and started it back slowly. 

Laboring in bed upright was the worse. I wanted to be up and moving that I had before. That's one of my main factors in choosing to not get an epidural. 

I asked if I could get in the tub for a while, hoping hot water would help with the pain. As the bath was being prepare, I started throwing up from the pain. 

Still at 4cm.

It was 7 pm when I got in the bath. It didn't help. While in the tub, Luke asked me to get the epidural. Sometimes our spouse knows us and our pain tolerance better than we do, we are one flesh after all, he knew I had reached my limit. Seeing his concern for me and recognizing that we were almost 12 hours in and no where close to where we needed to be, I agreed.

I got the epidural at 8pm after another round of throwing up, well, dry-heaving, because I hadn't eaten anything of substance since 7am. Getting the epidural was not as painful as I though it would be.

The epidural was the relief I didn't know I needed so badly. I had told Luke earlier in the day that I was "fine between contractions." When the epidural kicked in I realized I had as matter of fact, not been fine.

For about 3 hours I was able to sleep some as Luke and my nurse turned me every half hour with the peanut ball. 

Checked. 

Maybe 5cm.

Throughout the night my epidural wore off. 

The first time I developed a hot spot on the left side of my back and my hip. I could get comfortable and looked forward to each time Luke and the nurse turned me. 

They added a dosage to the epidural.

The second time it wore off, early in the morning, I began feeling contractions in my ribs, this is because I hadn't eaten in so long and had hunger pains. Talk about trying to breathe through contractions when it's your ribs contractions. Youch. 

Another dosage was added to the epidural and I was checked. 

Somewhere between 5 & 7cm. Not a whole lot of difference.

One of the nurses said that she thought I had very narrow pelvic bones and that we should start thinking about the possibility of a c-section. This was about 6am.

Around 8:30/9 am on the 12th, my OB came in and recommended c-section since we hadn't progressed much in 24+ hours and that were reaching the time limit of how long we could go since my water had been broken. 

I was immediately prepped for the c-section. 

Both Luke and I had relief because the end was in site and thin were finally happening. 

I couldn't be nervous because I was so exhausted from the restless night and 24 hours of labor without food. 

When they took me to the OR I could barely keep my eyes open. My doctor asked me how I was doing and I told her I was going to take a snooze. 

Being awake (or barely awake) on an operating table was a weird experience. I only felt pressure, no pain, as they made the incision and preformed the c-section.

The moment Levi was brought into the world, it felt like an elevator drop. That feeling you get in your stomach at the top of a hill on a roller coaster. Amazing.

As we heard his first cry, Luke held my gaze as we both burst into tears. He was finally here!

First thing the doctor says, "oh you've got a big cone head!"

People usually don't associate cone heads with c-section babies...

Turns out Levi's big head (14 in) was stuck sideways in my narrow pelvis, creating a huge cone shape on the back of his head.

My OB told me later that she thinks I could have labored days longer and never delivered naturally.

Thank God for modern medicine!

Of course, I had to wear a mask, which was a pain when trying to look at my baby for the first time. It kept riding up in front of my eyes where I couldn't see him. It didn't help that I was so exhausted I could barely keep them open too!

Overall, I'm at peace with how it all worked it. The Lord's hand was so evident in it all. The saddest thing for me that I've had to come to terms with is my experience of holding Levi for the first time. That was the moment that I had looked forward to for so long. 

aaaaand I slept through it while a nurse handed him to me and shoved his face into my boob. I didn't get to look into his eyes and soak him in. Instead I nodded on and off while he nursed (yeah didn't get to enjoy the first time he nursed either). But we've made up for that since.

Levi's birth was not what I had hoped or expected. And that's okay. The stories of other women I've heard remind me that I'm not the only one with this experience. 

It's been recommended that I have c-sections from now on. I'm thankful that I got to experience as much of the labor process that I did. I feel proud that I went 12 hours without the epidural. And thanks to my supportive husband, I don't feel weak for accepting the epidural.

No matter the birth, the choice for pain control, or natural or c-section, the birth of every child is truly a miracle.

I hold on to these 3 things: 

The strength I received from Scripture in a real tangible way.

The depth of Luke and I's oneness during the labor and delivery of our child.

The first moment I heard my son's cry and saw his sweet face.

Because of those things, I would do it 1,000 times over.